If you answered no or ummm to any of those, you’re in luck, because this Relationship Reboot will change that in about an hour. Send the kids to an extra violin lesson, silence your cell phone (don’t let me catch it on vibrate), and put a sock on the door. Now all you need is a pen and paper (or a shared Google document), and a bottle of wine, because why not. Get comfy on the couch and start listing—you can shout them out and jot ‘em down, or each make your own lists and create a master list from those. Don’t worry about thinking too big or too small; list everything from a trip you want to take to a food you want to try to a language you want to learn together. List all of your craziest ideas, and encourage your partner to do the same—you may be surprised at what they come up with. Most importantly, don’t NOPE! anything on each other’s lists, even and especially if it’s something that pushes your boundaries (since when did you want to quit your job to become a sheep shearer?!). Taking on a new adventure or tackling a challenge together will only bring you closer—I mean, remember when you spent the weekend assembling Ikea furniture together? You’re a stronger couple for that, so hang-gliding in the nude will be even better.

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Sixty minutes later, you’ll be out a bottle of wine but you’ll be one step closer to crossing some items off the list (studies have shown that just writing down your goals makes you more likely to achieve them)…and I’m betting you’ll have learned at least one thing you never knew about your partner. I mean, really, sheep-shearing? Will you be trying this Relationship Reboot this week? Have you already written a bucket list with your partner? Leave me a comment and let me know how it went!

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When it comes to relationships—and to reigniting the spark—it’s the little things that count. Which is why, each week, we’ll share an easy way to reconnect with your significant other. No big-budget vacations or vow renewals required—just real-life ways to make the most of a weekend, an hour, or a commercial break. If I asked you to list 10 things you’d put on your bucket list—a list of things you want to do before you, as the elegant saying goes, “kick the bucket”—could you list them? What if I asked you for 10 things your significant other would put on theirs? How about the things you wish you could do together someday…have you shared those with each other?

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Two’s company, sometimes three’s a crowd…but what about four? Chances are, if you and your partner are like two peas in a pod, sometimes you’re two peas who are kind of sick of each other, in a pod that seems to be closing in on you. Why not mix it up with a double date? Last year, a study found that the couple who double dates together, stays together. Researchers at Wayne State University found that couples who integrate other couples into their social lives are more likely to have happy and satisfying romantic relationships. Just don’t make it a movie date. You’ll reap the benefits if the date activity includes what researchers call “high disclosure” conversation—think intense discussion, not small talk about the weather. Why do relationships benefit from discussion-heavy foursomes? It’s a novel interaction—and couples reported that they learned new things about their partner when chatting with a new twosome. They also said the new friendship put a spark in their own relationship, making them feel much closer to their romantic partners. New friends and a new spark? Sounds like a win-win to us.

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Now, now, put down the tar and feathers. No one’s saying you aren’t already the Best Ever when it comes to your moves in the bedroom. But bedroom moves are like pancakes. No one is sad about having more of them. And if they’re really good, sometimes a long nap immediately follows. Unlike pancakes though, you can’t pick them up the local grocery store (unless the bag boy’s feeling frisky). Where you can pick them up: Get your butt in the classroom. A quick Google and you’ll find options ranging from lectures on the G-spot to hands-on sensual massage classes in your area (try local adult stores, to start), and everything in between—and we mean everything. It’s more comprehensive than your high school Sex Ed class and probably won’t even involve a condom on a banana…and what better foreplay (or foreplay to the foreplay) is there than sitting side by side with your honey, taking notes on all the crazy stuff you’re going to do to each other the second you get home? Here, I’ll even get you started: The Pleasure Chest has locations in New York City, Chicago, and Los Angeles, with classes on everything from sex after 40 to bedroom bondage based off of Fifty Shades of Grey. Babeland, in New York City and Seattle, tantalizes with erotic readings and workshops geared towards helping stressed moms rekindle desire. Good Vibrations, located in Massachusetts and all over California, has a ton to offer, from relatively tame erotic kissing classes to kinky bondage workshops. Now get to class. I promise the homework will be fun.

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